What a Crappy Present

Thanks for all the replies to that last post. Now, onto the news. . .
None of us likes paying for CDs, but it seems that these people REALLY don't like paying for CDs. The site is for both parents and kids. For parents, it tells them why their kids couldn't possibly want a CD. For kids, there's a detailed description of what to do if you get a CD as a gift. I believe this picture says it all.

Make me an offer

I've become really fascinated with these types of hypthetical questions lately, and mostly I've been bothering Colin with them. But last night, he suggested that I blog some of the questions to see what other people will say. And I thought, "hey, that's a pretty good idea". So, here I go.

For this to work, you have to respond! Even if I don't know you, even if this is your first time reading my blog, even if you don't care and just want to get on with your life, please respond with your answers. Otherwise, this will be a huge flop and I'll fall into a deep depression, cursing the world and all that's in it. Or maybe I'll just get over it. But do you want to take that chance? :-)

Would you do the following things for the specified amount of money (they start out easy, then get tougher)? If not, name your price. How high would a person have to go?

1.)For $1,000: Pose as a nude model for an art class?

2.)For $10,000: Do a nude scene (5 minutes) for an artsy film (your face would be in it)?

3.)For $100,000: Do a nude scene (5 minutes) for a big-budget movie (your face would be in it)?

4.)For $200,000: Hit a police officer with a brick (hard) in broad daylight?

5.)For $500,000: Squat and take a dump on the sidewalk of a busy street during rush hour?

6.)For $1,000,000: Have sex with this man or this woman (“sex” in this instance means 30 minutes of anything and everything)?

Remember to leave your answers!

Stereotypes

This is a nice little quiz.

Take the What High School
Stereotype Are You? quiz.

The other choices were Blond, Goody-two-shoes, Outsider, Goth, Jock, and Slut. I think they need a couple of more categories, though. I may have been a bit of a nerd, but I was never among the crowd that got beat up and harassed. They should have varying degrees of geek.

Low Expectations

Saturday, after spending a sunny afternoon in the park, then grabbing some dinner, Colin, Marc, and I went to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things. While there, we decided to walk through the toy section because Marc wanted to get a Rubix cube, I wanted to look at Legos, and Colin wanted to look at action figures (God, we sound like nerds). As we walked through the toy aisle, we ran across what I affectionately call the Low Expectations series of playsets. When I was a kid, most of the occupational playsets were little fake doctor's kits (I always loved those). But now, it appears parents have slightly altered expectations for their kids (hence, the Low Expectations playset). The category orginally included only McDonald's-themed playsets, like this one. However, I've noticed lately that they're multiplying. One such set iss a Dirt Devil-themed cleaning kit.

Yes, folks. Train your child to be a domestic! And if you really want it to be effective, give the kid some real cleaning supplies and let him/her "practice" on the windows and the living room floor. If that's not quite what you want your kid to do, how about a supermarket cashier? Doesn't that look like fun? Now, don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being a McDonald's server, a supermarket cashier, or a maid. But, let's be honest; is that really what anyone wants for his/her child? From the looks of it, the answer is a resounding "yes"!

Urbanity

1. Refinement and elegance of manner; polished courtesy.
2. urbanities Courtesies; civilities.

urbane -

adj 1: showing a high degree of refinement and the assurance that comes from wide social experience; "his polished manner"; "maintained an urbane tone in his letters" [syn: polished, refined, svelte] 2: characterized by tact and propriety 3: marked by wide-ranging knowledge and appreciation of many parts of the world arising from urban life and wide travel; "the sophisticated manners of a true cosmopolite"; "urbane and pliant...he was at ease even in the drawing rooms of Paris" [syn: sophisticated]

According to the awards committee for the E.B. Williams Awards Banquest (hosted by the Morehouse College Division of Business and Economics), I am the most urbane senior in the division. Actually, the award was for both Academic Acheivement and Urbanity (lest people think that the division is giving out random awards). In addition to receiving a very nice trophy (see below), I also received a small monetary award, most of which will go into the NYC fund (fee free to donate!). Yay for me.

The Answers

 

For Colin (planetch):

001. Which of your nipples do you like better?

The ones on my chest, without a doubt. Of those two, I think I prefer the one on my right-hand side. It has more character.

002. Are you...gay, or something?

No, but my boyfriend is (REALLY gay) : - )

003. If you had to be a Smurf, which Smurf would you be, and why?

I actually had to consult the Smurfs’ Official Homepage to remember who all of the smurfs were. After smurfing through the site (sorry, I had to say it), I came to the conclusion that my favorite was none other than Grouchy.

I like him because he doesn’t take any crap. I also like him because he kinda looks like you : - ) .

Oh, and I also found Clay Aiken.

 

For the Mysterious Webcrawler:

1. What is the meaning of motime?

Hey, you’re supposed to ask questions about ME! But, since I’m a nice guy, motime is derived from “More than instant messaging”, which is the slogan of the company that created it.

2. What is the GPS coordinates of the place you were when you first read this?

N 33 deg 38.372'
W 084 deg 26.137'

3. If you had to ask me a question, what would it be?

Were these questions hard to come up with?

 

For all the frogs at Froggytown:

1) If you were to be reincarnated as any woman in history before 1900, who would it be?

Catherine the Great. I’ve always had a weird fascination with the old Russian and German nobility, and she’s easily one of the most admirable of the Russian leaders in the past 500 years.

2) Choose three songs for the soundtrack to a movie entitled "Geoff's Life." What are they?

That’s a very good question. Hmmm. The first would be an original work entitled, “You won’t get no sympathy from me” (sung by a heavy-set black woman). The second would likely be the theme from Schindler’s List by John Williams. The third would be “Earth Song” by Michael Jackson.

3) Which Lord of the Rings character are you?

Funny you should mention that, since I just ran across this Lord of the Rings character quiz. You can read the results for yourself:

Legolas Greenleaf If I were a character in The Lord of the Rings, I would be Legolas, Elf, a son of the King of Mirkwood. In the movie, I am played by Orlando Bloom. Who would you be? Zovakware Lord of the Rings Test with Perseus Web Survey Software

For RandomRamblings:

1. What does it say on the 16th page, 2nd line of your favorite book?

Unfortunately, neither of my favorite books (The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton or Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett) is here with me. But in the book I’m currently reading, Bobos in Paradise by David Brooks, the 2^nd line of the 16^th page is as follows: [The remaining] marriages on the page are mixed marriages in which a [predator marries a nurturer].

2. Do you have one song which everyone else hates, but you like and if yes, what is it?

Yes! “I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves” (really, that’s the name of it). I’ll spare you all of the lyrics.

3. How would you response if a complete stranger would come up to you and say:"Your that person with the blog at motime.com!"?

I’d run away. . . very fast.

Damned entry isn't working. I'm trying to fix it. Check back in a couple of minutes.

That Natural Feeling

The one thing I often say that is proven again and again each day (that rhyme was unintended) is that people are really funny. In New York, they appear to be even funnier. Yesterday, in Central Park, a couple climbed up in a tree and had sex in front of hundreds of onlookers. Apparently, it was some form of protest, but you really have to read the article to appreciate the situation.

Death by numbers

Though non-Iraqis make up only a small fraction of all the casualties in the War on Iraq (many people forget to mention the thousands of Iraqi civilians who have died), this list by CNN is still very powerful. It lists the names and provides photographs of each of the "705 Americans, 59 Britons, five Bulgarians, one Dane, one Estonian, 17 Italians, two Poles, one Salvadoran, 11 Spaniards, two Thai and four Ukrainians" who have died in the war as of April 21, 2004 (updated regularly). Take some time and witness the lives that have been cut short by this ill-advised war. It's the least we can do for sending them off to die.

To ask or not to ask

Well, I've decided to steal another idea from Colin and Marc to fill the pages of my blog :-) I'm offering the chance to you scattered (but priveleged) few who read my blog to ask me any three questions (about me) you choose. Anything. Really, anything it all. Please ask. Please. I'll post the answers to all of the questions in a subsequent entry.

A place to call home

According to this article and several others like it, the average price of a "home" (includes apartments and houses) in New York City has risen to nearly $1 million. Since I will be moving to NYC in a couple of months, and had been considering the amount of time it might take to buy a home (and stop renting), this is a little unsettling. However, since I have been looking at NYC housing prices for some time, my idea of a "reasonable price" has changed somewhat in the past year. So, just to get some perspective, I decided to see exactly what kind of house $1 million could get you around the country. Here's what I found.

$1 million in Seattle

$1 million in Miami

$1 million in Memphis

$1 million in Dallas

$1 million in Atlanta

$1 million in my hometown of Winston-Salem, NC

And finally, $1 million in NYC . . .

Hmmm, I'm not feeling any better.

What kind of dance club is this?

This actually occurred to me many months ago, but I'm just now getting around to blogging it. In one of Pink's more popular recent songs, she screams "If God is a D.J., Life is dance floor, love is the rythm, and you are the music." However, that strikes me as odd. If God is in fact a D.J., life is the dancefloor, love is the rythm, and you are the music, who exactly is dancing? Shouldn't "you" be the dancer? Does God D.J. at a lame club or something? Inquiring minds want to know.

Brother, can you spare a di. . dollar?

Sorry for taking so long to post again. For some reason, these last few days have just been devoid of good posting material. But, my inspiration for a new post came last night in the form of what else but a . . . penis. Before the more sheepish among you stop reading, allow me to explain. Last night at the urging of a friend (I'll not say names, but if you happen to click here, you might get a hint), I experienced my first ever gay strip club. Now, I have been to a strip club before (in the great town of Vancouver), but the dancers there had different plumbing downstairs.

Anyway, the club I went to last night was appropriately named "Swinging Richards". Colin, Marc (well, you knew who the unnamed friend was anyway), and I arrived around midnight after going to see the newly-released film, "Connie and Carla". When we first entered the club, we were all three shocked by a blubbery freakishly huge woman (I'm talking about "Jerry Springer, I can't get out of the bed" huge) demanding a $10 cover. If I'd had some bacon, I could have shaken her, but we ended up paying the steep cover and entering the club. Let me say that my first few minutes in the club were just . . . weird. Though no one was on the either of the three stages in the center of the room, about six or seven naked men were either giving lap dances or talking to scattered patrons. It was almost funny because, even though it's a strip club, you just never imagine the strippers walking around naked off-stage (or perhaps I'm sheltered). Since I'd come with very little cash, I went to the ATM in the back to get some money ($4.95 surcharge), and joined Colin and Marc at a small round table, two rows from the center stage.

We drank, we made jokes (lots and lots of them), and periodically turned in our seats to comment on the porno tape playing on the huge screen behind us. One of the highlights of the night was a chance to actually talk to one of the strippers about what it was like to work in a strip club (since we had been speculating all night). Though he introduced himself as Sebastian, he later informed us that his real name was Jeffrey (which I didn't really believe until I saw the name tattooed across his mid-section). Anyway, from our conversation, we discovered that you actually have to have a $300 permit to become a stripper (who knew?) and though we didn't inquire about his sexuality, he hinted that he and several of the other strippers were not necessarily gay. Of course, throughout the entire conversation, his left hand was in his pants, rapidly moving up and down. I really was wondering why (really, really wondering why), until he got up and gave Marc his very first lap dance (paid for earlier by me and Colin).

All in all, my first time at a gay strip club was pretty enjoyable. I spent a small fortune (though oddly, almost all of it was on drinks and the cover charge), but it was fun. If we ever go again, however, it will have to be on Tuesday night, which Sebastian informed us only has a $2 cover. Maybe then I'll be able to afford to tip!

April 15th is Quickly Approaching . . .

Gentrification

Yesterday evening, my Urban Economics class watched the film "Flag Wars", which documents the process of gentrification in the Oldetown neighborhood in Columbus, Ohio. The title for the documentary stems from the fact that many of the "gentrifiers" are gay (and hang gay flags outside of their new homes). What makes the content even more controversial is that the gentrifiers are almost exclusively white, and the current residents of the neighborhood are almost exclusively black. And to top it all off, it takes place in the heart of Ohio, which doesn't have the best history of positive race relations. It was very interesting (a synopsis can be found here), and as person who is both black and gay, I got really involved in the documentary.

What I didn't care for however, were the comments of a number of my classmates, who expressed strong anti-gay views throughout the film (by way of snyde remarks and actually laughing when, at an anti-gay rally outside of Oldetown, a young boy who had glued two Ken dolls together in a doggystyle position looped a small noose around the neck of one of the dolls and held it up for the camera). They also clapped for a preacher who climbed the flagpole of Columbus' city hall to tear down and burn a gay flag. The black homeowners in Oldetown showed even more anti-gay bias, with one father proclaiming that he would not send his child to the neighborhood school because it had recently hired a "flamboyantly gay" teacher. When asked "What if he was the best teacher in the nation?" the father replied "No, not even then."

While the documentary was supposed to present both sides of the issue, I felt that it was incredibly one-sided. Perhaps my perception was influenced by the ignorant and inappropriate commentary from my classmates, but even still, I think the documentary could have done a better job of presenting the side of the gay "gentrifiers". When I started this, I had a lot more to say, but it has kinda fizzled now. Ah well, maybe I'll pick it up later. Till then . . .

Star-Schmucks Coffee

This is a nice spoof of coffee-house life, featuring an angry little squirrel (though he doesn't really look like a squirrel). If you find "dirty words" offensive . . . eh, I can't help you out.

Shoot Em Up

I'm not a huge fan of Bush, but this game is tremendously entertaining. Masked figures are invading the White House, and it's up to GW and Condoleeza Rice to stop them. You start out as Bush shooting your way out of the Oval office, then you move out into the hall and become Condoleeza, weilding two machine guns. Then you're down on the stairwell as GW Bush again. And let me just say that the ending lets you know exactly how retarded (in a good way) the game designers are. It'll take about ten minutes to play and there are three levels. Go ahead! Click (and come back here afterwards to leave a comment)! 

Easter Bunny: Revisited

Ha ha ha ha ha! This seems like something that would be on a comedy show, but folks, it really happened! (Courtesy of: The Kellogs)

Easter Bunny Whipped by Pa. Church Group

GLASSPORT, Pa. — A church trying to teach about the crucifixion of Jesus performed an Easter show with actors whipping the Easter bunny and breaking eggs, upsetting several parents and young children.

People who attended Saturday's performance at Glassport's memorial stadium quoted performers as saying, "There is no Easter bunny," and described the show as being a demonstration of how Jesus was crucified.

Melissa Salzmann, who brought her 4-year-old son J.T., said the program was inappropriate for young children.

"He was crying and asking me why the bunny was being whipped," Salzmann said.

Patty Bickerton, the youth minister at Glassport Assembly of God, said the performance wasn't meant to be offensive. Bickerton portrayed the Easter rabbit and said she tried to act with a tone of irreverence.

"The program was for all ages, not just the kids. We wanted to convey that Easter is not just about the Easter bunny, it is about Jesus Christ," Bickerton said.

Performers broke eggs meant for an Easter egg hunt and also portrayed a drunken man and a self-mutilating woman, said Jennifer Norelli-Burke, another parent who saw the show in Glassport, a community about 10 miles southeast of Pittsburgh.

"It was very disturbing," Norelli-Burke said. "I could not believe what I saw. It wasn't anything I was expecting."

Link: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,116560,00.html

 

Insanity Defense

I don't advocate locking up insane people (not in jail, anyway), but something about this verdict doesn't sit well with me. The woman on trial, who stoned two of her sons to death and beat the other (a 2-year old) so severely that doctors have said he will never be able to live independently, was found not guilty for reasons of insanity. Apparently, she believed that God had told her to do it and that her oldest son would rise from the dead on his ninth birthday. She only submitted to counseling when he didn't rise from the dead. However, she didn't reveal her "spiritual battle" until deep into the trial, which makes me wonder if it's all a lie. I suppose it doesn't matter from a legal standpoint since the trial is over, but it still bothers me. Can people just do anything horrific and then claim insanity?

What will you name your baby?

Sure, you hear the jokes about it in the movies and from some comedians, but I really didn't know it had gotten so bad. Apparently, people are just naming their children all kinds of crazy things these days. A Swedish couple was barred by the Swedish authorities from naming their son "Superman". The parents' response? "It would have been much worse to call him Phantom or Tarzan." What?!?

A Washington news radio station reported instances of people naming their children after hair dye, canned peas, and TV stations: L'Oreal, Del Monte, and ESPN respectively. The funniest to me, though, were "Nonchalant and Uneccessary". How would you feel if your parents named you Uneccessary? I still want to meet someone named "Oops".

Easter

I'm still curious as to the origins of the Easter bunny, especially since (1) like Christmas, Easter is supposed to be a religious holiday, and (2) rabbits (or "bunnies") don't lay eggs. And don't get me started on that freakishly huge clucking Cadbury bunny. *shudder* In any event, I thought this was . . . different. Enjoy!

What Religion are You?

I got this little test from Colin. Interestingly enough, we seem to have a quite a few similarities in our belief systems, though I don't necessarily believe that Colin is the almighty :-) Seriously though, I didn't even know there were this many popular religions. I've read the first few, and I think they do accurately reflect my beliefs. Looks like it may be time to say goodbye to the Baptists.

1. Unitarian Universalism (100%) 2. Liberal Quakers (97%) 3. Reform Judaism (93%) 4. Neo-Pagan (86%) 5. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (85%) 6. Secular Humanism (81%) 7. Bahá'í Faith (74%) 8. New Age (73%) 9. New Thought (62%) 10. Sikhism (60%) 11. Orthodox Judaism (60%) 12. Mahayana Buddhism (59%) 13. Nontheist (59%) 14. Theravada Buddhism (56%) 15. Scientology (55%) 16. Taoism (54%) 17. Islam (54%) 18. Orthodox Quaker (53%) 19. Jainism (47%) 20. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (41%) 21. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (38%) 22. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (30%) 23. Eastern Orthodox (28%) 24. Roman Catholic (28%) 25. Hinduism (27%) 26. Seventh Day Adventist (24%) 27. Jehovah's Witness (6%)

Personality Test

I've taken lots of these things, and most are pretty accurate, but here are two more just in case you want to understand me a little better (courtesy of Colin's blog).

Myers Briggs Test:

Hmm, so I'm essentially a judgemental introverted perfectionist? Who knew? :)

The Imaginary Armageddon

I really don't know what to say, so I'll just put the damn article up and let you read it.

"What 'Gay' Marriage Will Mean for Our Children"

"Same sex marriage? It doesn't bother me!"

In many circles, this is the prevailing sentiment regarding the possible legalization of same-sex relationships as "marriages" in the U.S. If the Supreme Court in the state of Massachusetts rules in favor of the homosexual couples who have sued for marriage rights, then other states will most likely be forced to recognize these couplings as marriages under the Full Faith and Credit Clause of the U.S. Constitution.

There's just one problem with this angle: It doesn't take into account the impact on children. If same-sex relationships become the law of the land, then homosexual marriage will be presented to America's schoolchildren as the equivalent of heterosexual marriage. (and the problem with that would be?)

Here's how and why it will happen. Right now, the vast majority of U.S. public school districts have put themselves in a very vulnerable position, one that conservatives have been warning about for years but few school boards listened. What they've done is add under their non-discrimination policies the category of "sexual orientation." It only remains for enough time to elapse - and for same-sex marriage to be legalized - for "gay" education activists to force schools to implement sweeping changes in curricular content.

Among those changes will be "diverse" textbooks that include same-sex couples as role models, even for little children. To refuse such content will be considered "discrimination," and the American Civil Liberties Union and Lambda Legal Defense Fund will take that district to court, as they have recently in order to force homosexual clubs onto schools. If not those two well-heeled groups, then the National Education Association will sue, as it has promised, on behalf of any teachers involved. Increasingly liberal courts, modeling themselves after the Supremes, are pretty likely to rule in favor of such plaintiffs. (Once again, what's wrong with "diverse" textbooks? What's wrong with the courts doing THEIR JOB?)

That also goes for the "right" of teachers who are homosexual to wear wedding rings, talk about their homosexual spouses with students and introduce spouses at school functions. Your little Katie will learn in kindergarten that "Mrs." Jones is married to another "Mrs." Jones - and that she can grow up and choose to do the same (Katie can choose who she marries, but if she's heterosexual, she'll have no desire to marry a woman, anyway. Duh.) if she wishes. It is, after all, her "right." (I'm still not seeing what the problem is. Should the white teacher Mrs. Smith also not introduce her black husband, Mr. Smith, because it's different? Augghhh!)

Grade-school and middle-school anti-bias units will now crank into high gear the focus on homosexuals and cross-dressers. Because marriage is now legalized, children will be persuaded in misleading material that anyone who objects to homosexual behavior is not simply biased, that person is breaking the law (No, you're free to object all you want. That's one of the protections built into our Constitution; a Constitution you're trying to deface). The take-away for students from these shallow lessons will be that it is illegal to criticize homosexuality (No, see previous), and every person young or old should be protected from the mean conservatives. Standing up for equality in America will translate into the freedom to practice homosexuality (. . . and the freedom not to practice homosexuality) for every student who "discovers" (what's with all the quotes?) such inclinations . (This argument is akin to saying that because fast food is "accepted", then everyone is forced to eat it and gain 400 pounds. I think we all agree how stupid that is.)

Sex education will be required to take into account this new form of "family" and abstinence - until - marriage education will take a twisted new turn (twisted? Please do elaborate). Suddenly, it will be co-opted by Planned Parenthood and other liberal activists with their own unique spin. Every student will be taught that, of course, abstinence until heterosexual or homosexual marriage is fine if that's one's choice. But since pregnancy isn't a danger for homosexuals, sex can be a wonderful option for younger and younger people (Okay, so now we're saying that homosexuality has the power to overcome puberty and affect "younger and younger" children. Man, this gay shit is powerful!) - as long as it's carried out "responsibly," of course - like brushing one's teeth. To not teach this would be, again "discrimination" based on sexual orientation. Condoms are always available for those who can't wait. Let's show you third-graders how this condom fits on this banana (unless third graders are now making sperm and having periods, I don't see how this has any merit) , just so you are prepared.

Expect a whole new crop of young adult novels featuring same-sex romance leading to marriage to appear instantly and be adopted just as magically by middle-school and high-school language departments throughout the U.S. Your 13-year-old Kyle will be required to read and give a book report on a novel where Bruce and Jason meet, date and get married (Gay kids are forced to give book reports on heterosexual novels. Why is that right, but a book report on a gay novel is wrong?). What won't be covered is how Bruce and Jason split up a year later after cheating on each other dozens of times. (Ignorant stereotypes take all the wind out of any argument. Let's not forget the same-sex couples trying to get married in San Fran and other locales who have been together for DECADES. Given the 50% divorce rate among heterosexuals in this country, I think you have no room to talk).

And it gets better (or worse). This stop-gap standard will last for just a few years, until the inevitable next piece of the puzzle is in place. Hank and Jim will petition the courts to allow Mary, the biological mother of "their" adopted child, to become part of their marriage. After all, what business does the court have in their bedrooms, determining who they have a right to love? Along about this same time, Cindy and her partner, Luke (who is really Lucy, except that she dresses like a man) will demand that the law recognize Luke as a "husband" in spite of her biology. And so will emerge the accompanying new curricular materials reflecting the legalization of group marriage and transgender unions, making sure every U.S. school child knows that these are future options for him, her or them. (I used to think that imagination was a good thing, but now I'm starting to wonder. I also have to ask what is so wrong about teaching children not to hate? Really? I want to know!)

In such a legal and educational environment, what happens to religions that don't believe homosexuality is moral? Will those religions and their ancient teachings eventually come before some future Supreme Court and be told that they are guilty of discrimination (No. Once again, please read the Constitution. The state has no control over religion. Religions are free to discriminate, and continue to do so on all kinds of bases, not just sexual orientation. So don't worry, no one plans to take away your right to exclude.)? That their beliefs are no longer constitutional because of privacy rights (beliefs and privacy rights have nothing to do with oneanother. That's like trying to make a connection between paper clip usage and peanut butter sales)?

If this sounds like lunacy, it's because it is (something here certainly sounds like lunacy). What we do in the bedroom has always been public, in the form of what we call a family. It becomes what we teach and pass on as wisdom to our children. And if we aren't sure what "wisdom" entails (don't worry, you're not), by golly, the homosexual activists are here to tell us.