Eros Issues Recall

NEW YORK, NY (Shockster Press)

Eros Industries Inc (NASDAQ: LOVE), best known for its eccentric CEO, C. Upid, announced today that it is recalling more than 10,000 of its DuraHeart brand love arrows, sold within the last 3 years. The recall comes amid reports that the DuraHeart brand, designed specifically for young gay males after the company’s flagship line, Fall4U, failed to remain lodged for more than a few weeks, has begun to fall out after 1.5 – 3 years. A 22 year-old North Carolina man, who prefers to be called JH, saw his relationship of nearly two years dissolve several weeks ago after he and his partner’s DuraHeart arrows fell out at a sporting event. Similarly, a 22-year old New York man experienced the same phenomena, though there are indications that the arrow had been dislodged for some time before it was noticed. “This is just crazy,” noted JM, a San Diego transplant who saw his own 1.5 year relationship dissolve just a few days ago. “I don’t know what’s going on – maybe there’s something in the water."  A company spokesperson indicated, however, that the problems are short-term and are not indicative of anything larger.

Teu Gether, an independent analyst, is skeptical about the company’s claims. “There have been far too many issues with the products coming out of Eros for the last few years to call this a fluke. If you look at divorce rates, single-parent households – all of the indicators tell us that there are serious problems at the company.”

Part of the trouble at Eros may be due to labor issues, which have plagued the company in recent years. The growth of online dating sites caught the company off-guard, and has stretched deliverymen (clad in the company’s traditional winged outfit) and handlers to the limit. A brief strike by the Fletchers’ Union ended in January with huge concessions to labor. Says the union’s chief spokesman, Hart Braker, “Mr. Upid’s refusal to provide an adequate living wage for our members is the real cause of Eros’ problems. Happy workers make good products.”

 Mr. Upid declined to be interviewed for this story, but issued the following statement: “We at Eros are committed to creating meaningful, long-lasting relationships for all age groups in the gay, straight, transgendered, and bi-sexual communities. While it is unfortunate that there have been problems with our DuraHeart line, we stand behind our products and our commitment to quality partnerships.” That, however, offers little solace for the “quality partnerships” that have already been affected.

The Past Year

This is a somewhat old meme that I found out there on the net, and somehow I came across it four months late. Anyway, what you're supposed to do is take the first sentence of the first post of each month for the last year and repost them all. However, since Shockster is only slightly more than a year old (it feels like it's been so much longer), I'll just start from the beginning. So here goes folks; Shockster, from embryo to man (or something like that).

The weirdness started on day one - it was a little awkward at first. 

March 2004: "Hmm, so this is what it's like to have a blog."

Of course, once I got into the swing of things, I became a raving social/political commentator, just like every other pre-election blogger.

April 2004: "I really don't know what to say, so I'll just put the damn article up and let you read it."

But I wanted to show the softer side of Shockster. . . 

May 2004:  "I took a creative writing class this semester in which I wrote two short stories."

I took some time to see the country . . . 

June 2004: "Well, I'm finally back from traveling, so expect some new entries soon (very soon)."

. . . and a movie or two

July 2004: "Earlier this week, I decided to go see SpiderMan 2 both because I really loved the first movie and this one was receiving such high praise from the critics."

I learned some stuff about myself that you can only learn from memes

August 2004: "You are a RSYG--Reserved Sentimental Physical Giver. This makes you a Nice Guy/Nice Girl."

Then I faced some hurdles . . .

September 2004: "Hmm, I wonder if anyone even reads this blog anymore. . ."

 . . . job-related unhappiness . . .

October 2004: "Dammit! I think I'm getting sick."

. . . election day euphoria . .

November 2004: "Like many other bloggers out there, I'm writing the requisite election-day entry."

. . . and post-election dismay . . .

December 2004: [none in this month. I must have been too depressed]

. . . my new-year re-emergence . . .

January 2005: "Like all politicians, I broke my campaign promise."

. . . and a shift to the lighter side of things .

February 2005: "I could blog about the ludicrous plan to privatize social security or the growing influence of evangelical fear-mongering in our government, but today I feel like tackling something a little lighter; fashion."

The memes returned . . .

March 2005: "You can thank Marc for this one."

. . . then the earth stood still.

April 2005: "Well, it's over."

And through it all, Shockster chugged along. Honestly, I never thought this blog would last so long, but it doesn't look like it's going away anytime soon :-) You're gonna have to put up with me for many more months/years/decades/centuries/millenia to come!

**Sidenote**

Both my 100+ things and Shockster Fitness (links at top left)  have been updated and will be updated a lot more regularly from now on. Tune in from time to time!

Er liebt!

Okay, you can stop sending out the search parties - I am alive and well.  A little bruised yes, but thanks to patient care by a few devoted friends, some family shoulders to lean on, and even a couple of messages of support from people I've not had the pleasure to meet, I think any permanent damage was averted.

What have I been up to other than work? Not much, really. Pitiful, ain't it? I took advantage of the lovely weather on Sunday to spend a couple of hours in Prospect Park. Unfortunately, by the time I got there, the wind had picked up considerably, effectively neutralizing the sun's warming rays and ruining all possibility of seeing any skin. Dammit! (I get my kicks where I can these days, folks).

In other news, as part of my new initiative to get out and do more during the week, I attended a lecture/panel discussion at the Center for Architecture, entitled  "The Transformation of New York City" tonight. It was  primarily about the need for a holistic and comprehensive development plan for the city, but it also covered green architecture,  gentrification (quickly), and the sustainabiltiy of the region as a whole.

Best quote of the night -  "I can't help but think that all of the discussions about planning are overly Manhattan-centric."

Food for thought.

As I type, so many more stories are coming into my head about the last week, but I think I'll continue this post a little later. Have a good night, folks.

All good things . . .

Well, it's over. GeoffandColin are now just Geoff     and    Colin. We had a good run - three years. But I think we both saw the end coming in some way. I wish it hadn't happened the way it happened, but I guess that was beyond my control. The shelves on the wall and in the bedroom are pretty bare now. I guess that means I'll have to go buy some more books of my own and a few nicknacks. His towel is still hanging in the bathroom. It's funny how accurate the movie line is, "everywhere I look, I'm reminded of him." I don't feel like going to work today, but keeping my mind occupied and being around other people (even my co-workers) is probably the best thing. Now is one of those times I wish I had cultivated more friendships here in the city, outside of Colin and his family. It might be easier that way.

Anyway, it's time to get ready for work.